im sooo tired it's crazy!!

i spent like the last few days working on this health psych case study which felt like forever. And i had to hand in another piece of work this morning at 9am. HARD COPY! which is mad because i was doing it till 3 plus in the morning. then i had to wake up at 7 so that i can go to school at 8.

i am gonna blog about the lovely dinner me and duds had at the line last monday. goodness me, time passed so quickly, i meant to blog about it earlier! It was me and dudley's one year anniversary (well sorta, since it is actually on wednesday but my screening was on that day, WHICH im gonna talk about later) anyway, the food at the line is REALLY SO GOOD!!! =) i loved the seafood especially, and the rows of macaroons sitting on the shelves, and the chocolate fondue WAS SO GOOD! strawberry coated with hardened chocalate will never ever win eating strawberry coated with warm velvety chocolate. all the other food were really good too! but i mean, i was craving for fondue for the longest time, so that's all i'm thinking about really.

anyway, i baked dudley a box of cookies, with this humungous heart cookie! =) he lost them tho, and was feeling so blue about it. But i mean, it's just cookies, and not such a big deal. we got a longer way to go, and this is really.. nothing! =) so cheer up! i can always bake more! it wont be the same, but here's some pictures!

peanut butter cookie dough. It tasted pretty good like this!
Into the cakepan. (I have a mini oven, and no proper pans that fit the oven. So i bought a cake pan not long ago for that use =)
Tasting the food! =X it was a bit burnt =\ it took lesser time than i expected. Then again, i've been baking alot more muffins than cookies.


The best batches. tied in a ribbon. sealed with a kiss xoxo =)


And of course a card for my lovely cat! =) (HAHA who knew pop out cats!!)
Alright, now to the line!
Here we are with food!

The really
THE CHOCOLATE FONDUE!! BIGGER THAN ME =))
Random, but this is what i wore. =)) Sorry not much photos of food because we ate it faster than we ate!!
RESTING---
back to eating! you realise we ate quite erratically. this was the order of the food we ate that night. we jumped to dessert because it was too tempting. Then after that, we ate like pizza and sashimi.
so freaking yummy! =)))if i go there again, i will make my money's worth by just eating ALL seafood (tons of prawns and oysters), then just jam myself with strawberry and chocolate.

cant take it. SO GOOD! =))

it was a very lovely date! thank you!

im feeling kinda upset. i guess mostly because today started out pretty lousy since i woke up late, and then i had to attend a lousy tutorial which bored me to death that i started spreading the chicken pox, someone drew on the table i was sitting on, to michelle's table since she was sitting beside me. then, we had an animated discussion at the back of class about halloween costumes, since halloween in half's a month.

i have no idea what i want to wear really? but i know i want funky arty make up, like overdrawn eyes that goes all the way to my eyebrows and humungous eyelashes, and exaggerated eyebrows. but i am not an expert, nor do i have the resources to do it, so i believe it's not happening. honestly, i think that halloween is such a hassle, since i either wanna do a good job or like not take part in it. well, i have an aodai, so i thought it'd be funny to dress like a vietnamese mail-order bride, but it might be quite mean to do so. Sooo. i have no idea.

anyway, i came online really to talk about how lousy my day is. =( my project got really horrendously low marks, and i did worser than dudley for our science of music test. which really sucks considering how i studied it longer than he did and i took physics in jc. =( so i am sad because i always liked physics quite some bit but yet i have never been able to do well in it. and for my project, it sucks because looking at the mean and the sd, kinda shows that our project got maybe a C or D. =( the bell curve really sucks. the bell curve sucks when you take stats and learn how to interpret what the mean means, and it means that you sucked really bad in the test.

=( some people suck.

here i am, pretty much at my last event organised for n.u.s.t.u.d.i.o.s and it is a very strange feeling. i feel totally at bliss at the very thought that i can finally concentrate on the work i haven't started yet are nearly due. get the sleep that i really need in order to fuel myself for the late nights i forsee. Yet, here i am, blogging about the feelings i should be feeling since i feel so unusually at peace. where do i even start?

maybe at this girl that i have unintentionally angered through my lack of management in preperation of this event. i guess this is what happens when i over promise things i fail to deliver. i know her so well, and i should have expected this cold treatment anyway, and in fact, not one tat lesser. maybe that is why i felt annoyed but yet not at all angry. well, other than the fact that the last time i spoke to her, she was basically yelling at me over the phone and we hung up on a really bad note. it is my fault for not wanting to seek remedification for the situation sooner but i just felt like i was being roughly accosted, and in order to cope with it, i had to not think about it, which really did not make the situation any better. she had high expectations for me to have approached our work much more effectively and efficiently, but i failed. i wanted to be a good leader, and understand what she needs in order for her to do her job, but also without overtaxing her. since i know she is a person who takes a lot of pride in her work, making sure that it is done immaculately, even if she had to forgo her sleep or studies which is something i do not want my members have to go through. but alas, the situation did not go as planned, since i had little knowledge of designing, i took for granted the time that she would have been needed, and also the optimal number of words for the pages. she washed off her hands in the generation of contents, and just wanted to focus primarily on the design aspect, which made things difficult, since the programme booklet is an amalgamation of both aspects and i was really handicapped in her area of expertise. it really became a breakdown, especially since she expected me to generate perfect content on time, while i expected her to have been much more flexible. well, i don't blame her. her priorities are already in place, and i was the devil, messing up her well-laid plans. or even worse, i promised her that i had her welfare at heart. there is nothing much i can do, when apologies are just words that will never amount to anything enough to be forgiven for having failed expectations..

so you're wondering, why aren't you doing anything now to get this friendship back?

because i feel hurt by her noxious behavior. she didn't even care about my feelings, or thought about thinking what it would be like being in my shoes. that, the programme booklet is but one aspect of this whole event. i had other things to handle and i did not even want to be further incapicitated by a lack of a publicity person to help me. 'we could help each other, no need for the role (that has nothing to do)' reduced to a clinical division according to ones own job scope.

i have nothing else to say. because it was my fault. because i was in-charge. because i could have handled it better..


my naivety and forgetfulness allows me to look at each day with such optimism. it's the only thing that increases my chance of living but leaves me with lesser to fight than the rest.

im sooo tired it's crazy!!

i spent like the last few days working on this health psych case study which felt like forever. And i had to hand in another piece of work this morning at 9am. HARD COPY! which is mad because i was doing it till 3 plus in the morning. then i had to wake up at 7 so that i can go to school at 8.

i am gonna blog about the lovely dinner me and duds had at the line last monday. goodness me, time passed so quickly, i meant to blog about it earlier! It was me and dudley's one year anniversary (well sorta, since it is actually on wednesday but my screening was on that day, WHICH im gonna talk about later) anyway, the food at the line is REALLY SO GOOD!!! =) i loved the seafood especially, and the rows of macaroons sitting on the shelves, and the chocolate fondue WAS SO GOOD! strawberry coated with hardened chocalate will never ever win eating strawberry coated with warm velvety chocolate. all the other food were really good too! but i mean, i was craving for fondue for the longest time, so that's all i'm thinking about really.

anyway, i baked dudley a box of cookies, with this humungous heart cookie! =) he lost them tho, and was feeling so blue about it. But i mean, it's just cookies, and not such a big deal. we got a longer way to go, and this is really.. nothing! =) so cheer up! i can always bake more! it wont be the same, but here's some pictures!

peanut butter cookie dough. It tasted pretty good like this!
Into the cakepan. (I have a mini oven, and no proper pans that fit the oven. So i bought a cake pan not long ago for that use =)
Tasting the food! =X it was a bit burnt =\ it took lesser time than i expected. Then again, i've been baking alot more muffins than cookies.


The best batches. tied in a ribbon. sealed with a kiss xoxo =)


And of course a card for my lovely cat! =) (HAHA who knew pop out cats!!)
Alright, now to the line!
Here we are with food!

The really
THE CHOCOLATE FONDUE!! BIGGER THAN ME =))
Random, but this is what i wore. =)) Sorry not much photos of food because we ate it faster than we ate!!
RESTING---
back to eating! you realise we ate quite erratically. this was the order of the food we ate that night. we jumped to dessert because it was too tempting. Then after that, we ate like pizza and sashimi.
so freaking yummy! =)))if i go there again, i will make my money's worth by just eating ALL seafood (tons of prawns and oysters), then just jam myself with strawberry and chocolate.

cant take it. SO GOOD! =))

it was a very lovely date! thank you!

im feeling kinda upset. i guess mostly because today started out pretty lousy since i woke up late, and then i had to attend a lousy tutorial which bored me to death that i started spreading the chicken pox, someone drew on the table i was sitting on, to michelle's table since she was sitting beside me. then, we had an animated discussion at the back of class about halloween costumes, since halloween in half's a month.

i have no idea what i want to wear really? but i know i want funky arty make up, like overdrawn eyes that goes all the way to my eyebrows and humungous eyelashes, and exaggerated eyebrows. but i am not an expert, nor do i have the resources to do it, so i believe it's not happening. honestly, i think that halloween is such a hassle, since i either wanna do a good job or like not take part in it. well, i have an aodai, so i thought it'd be funny to dress like a vietnamese mail-order bride, but it might be quite mean to do so. Sooo. i have no idea.

anyway, i came online really to talk about how lousy my day is. =( my project got really horrendously low marks, and i did worser than dudley for our science of music test. which really sucks considering how i studied it longer than he did and i took physics in jc. =( so i am sad because i always liked physics quite some bit but yet i have never been able to do well in it. and for my project, it sucks because looking at the mean and the sd, kinda shows that our project got maybe a C or D. =( the bell curve really sucks. the bell curve sucks when you take stats and learn how to interpret what the mean means, and it means that you sucked really bad in the test.

=( some people suck.

here i am, pretty much at my last event organised for n.u.s.t.u.d.i.o.s and it is a very strange feeling. i feel totally at bliss at the very thought that i can finally concentrate on the work i haven't started yet are nearly due. get the sleep that i really need in order to fuel myself for the late nights i forsee. Yet, here i am, blogging about the feelings i should be feeling since i feel so unusually at peace. where do i even start?

maybe at this girl that i have unintentionally angered through my lack of management in preperation of this event. i guess this is what happens when i over promise things i fail to deliver. i know her so well, and i should have expected this cold treatment anyway, and in fact, not one tat lesser. maybe that is why i felt annoyed but yet not at all angry. well, other than the fact that the last time i spoke to her, she was basically yelling at me over the phone and we hung up on a really bad note. it is my fault for not wanting to seek remedification for the situation sooner but i just felt like i was being roughly accosted, and in order to cope with it, i had to not think about it, which really did not make the situation any better. she had high expectations for me to have approached our work much more effectively and efficiently, but i failed. i wanted to be a good leader, and understand what she needs in order for her to do her job, but also without overtaxing her. since i know she is a person who takes a lot of pride in her work, making sure that it is done immaculately, even if she had to forgo her sleep or studies which is something i do not want my members have to go through. but alas, the situation did not go as planned, since i had little knowledge of designing, i took for granted the time that she would have been needed, and also the optimal number of words for the pages. she washed off her hands in the generation of contents, and just wanted to focus primarily on the design aspect, which made things difficult, since the programme booklet is an amalgamation of both aspects and i was really handicapped in her area of expertise. it really became a breakdown, especially since she expected me to generate perfect content on time, while i expected her to have been much more flexible. well, i don't blame her. her priorities are already in place, and i was the devil, messing up her well-laid plans. or even worse, i promised her that i had her welfare at heart. there is nothing much i can do, when apologies are just words that will never amount to anything enough to be forgiven for having failed expectations..

so you're wondering, why aren't you doing anything now to get this friendship back?

because i feel hurt by her noxious behavior. she didn't even care about my feelings, or thought about thinking what it would be like being in my shoes. that, the programme booklet is but one aspect of this whole event. i had other things to handle and i did not even want to be further incapicitated by a lack of a publicity person to help me. 'we could help each other, no need for the role (that has nothing to do)' reduced to a clinical division according to ones own job scope.

i have nothing else to say. because it was my fault. because i was in-charge. because i could have handled it better..


my naivety and forgetfulness allows me to look at each day with such optimism. it's the only thing that increases my chance of living but leaves me with lesser to fight than the rest.